The idea of freedom has been on my mind lately. It started out that way because I'm hearing the word bandied about lately in political debates as if A.) my freedom were under constant dire threat from every direction at all times, and B.) my personal freedom to do anything I want must surely supersede my desire to have a healthy planet or body, or to live in a peaceful world. I'm getting the impression that a depressing LOT of people think that freedom has something to do with owning a gun, getting to be publicly racist/sexist/classist/homophobic without any hindrance or even feedback, or being able to pollute the air and water or exploit other people or resources to the breaking point, just because it might be what I want to do. I am baffled by this. Certainly I want to have the right to own a gun, whether or not I have one, to speak freely even if my ideas are controversial, and even to engage with my planet on my own terms (though for me that means using a composting toilet even if the city finds it uncouth).
While I am finding my "American freedoms" to be somewhat curbed of late (thank you, Patriot Act), I don't feel concerned that overall my "freedom" is largely threatened by politicians or "terrorists" out to get me. I know that gun control will never eliminate arms in our country, and that people who spew hate will be allowed to continue to do so, and it seems obvious to me that all the ruckus over these issues is no more than a bunch of nasty fear mongering put out by people who think I must be stupid enough to exchange my own strength and freedom for actions based on fear.
So when I say freedom has been on my mind, I mean the word has almost lost all meaning in the public discourse and its overuse has started to irritate me. Still, when we strip away its social connotations, what could be more important than freedom? What could be a more essential core value? And if freedom to me is not the power to wield my every whim like a fist against my neighbors, then what is it? I've spent several nights in a wrestling match with this question, and here is what I have come to:
There was a time not long ago, when people lived perfectly normal and happy lives without cars, or televisions, or even electricity. I'm not hearkening back to the "good old days" in a nostalgic sense, I am pointing out that for most of history, people were not chained to an intense barrage of monthly bills which, if not paid, threatened an abrupt removal of services that suddenly we feel we literally cannot LIVE without. While I appreciate modern conveniences, our adjustment to electricity has created a cycle in which, if we do not pay the utility company an exorbitant fee every month on their tight schedule, they will cut off our access to light, heat, entertainment, and the ability to store and prepare our food. And we are terrified of this loss? We really believe that without these thugs help, we will starve to death in the dark if we don't freeze or die of boredom first! And yet our grandparents had light, heat, entertainment, and healthier food than we have, without a single coal fired power plant chuffling away and demanding half our income every month. The same can be said of the advent of cars, and plenty of other products we now find indispensable, and that we now make life-long payments for.
So who cares whether or not I have the "freedom" to own a gun, if I can't disentangle myself from the job I hate because I will die without the benevolent monthly bill of City Utilities? What does my "freedom" to do whatever I want matter, if all I can do at the end of a day is collapse in front of the TV, because I'm so exhausted and spiritually beaten down from trying to pay for my car and convenience food and the new stuff the commercials tell me to want? Is slavery to monthly bills and the media push to consume some component of my innate "freedom" that I don't know about? Despite this foundation of being chained to a job/financial cycle/culture, am I somehow truely free because I can still buy a gun or flap my exhausted mouth if I want to? I'm not convinced that I am. I am convinced that if freedom is my goal, and it seems to be everyone's goal these days, then the only way to achieve it is to create my own life by cutting myself away from the one that was laid out for me by unimaginable wealthy people who would like to siphon off the little resources I have until I am nothing but a leftover husk.
When I think of life in this way, handmaking my clothes isn't just a pleasant creative outlet, or a way to express my quirkiness and save a few bucks, it is an exercise in freedom, not just in not dumping my money into a bottomless money spending cycle, but a practice of saying "I don't even want what you're selling me, and I'm not buying it." Growing our food becomes not just a great and inexpensive way to eat well, it is a real and concrete step toward actual freedom, and a disentanglement with a system that would feed me expensive processed crap that will land me at the doctor's office with another bill from him. This is real freedom, the kind that is each of our birth-right, the kind toward which we should be striving, and the kind I wish people were talking about when they wave their flags and cast their votes, either with their ballots or with their dollars spent. This is the kind of freedom I seek, and this is the kind of freedom a hand made life affords.
Do I still own a car? I do. I live in a city where it would be hard not to, though that's not an excuse, and scooter ownership is on my list of long term goals. Do I still have city utilities? For now, though that is changing too, and I'll talk more about that later. If a shift in consciousness is the first step, then I am well on my path. I don't suggest we all turn Amish (ok, I would LOVE that, but I'm not insisting on it), but we can learn to live with a LOT less, and the less we need, the more truly free we are.
Every time I hang my laundry on the line, or light a kerosene lamp, or pick up a book rather than a remote, I am more free. Every time I stitch up a new dress and enjoy the compliments I get for something I made rather than bought, I better know my own strength in the world. Every time you take the stairs rather than the elevator, pull a carrot from your own yard, or learn to change your tire yourself, you bolster your own freedom... enough time on the internet, let's go get our needles or hammers and get to work!
