Our Handmade Life

Made from Scratch in the Extreme-- We're Growing a Person!

    Yup, that's what I said. It's a... baby! Given our shared hippie-style/intensely religious upbringings (yes these things can go together), Josh and I have always been inclined, even as children, to creating our surroundings, both in spirit and in material form. Many times we've lacked patience or forethought and ended up manifesting things that no one including us would want, but we're learning as we go (aren't we all), and nothing makes us happier than bringing a new object or meal or idea into the world at the end of the day.

    I say that to say this: growing a person is a whole new ballgame, and I'm pretty sure we don't even fully grasp what is happening yet! What a thing to go from a lifetime of intense control issues to a quivering mass of exhaustion and nausea who cannot, no matter how much will-power is exerted, go for that regular walk in the woods, nor ever look at lasagna again. What a thing to watch one's own familiar physical shape morph from hard and thin, to soft, to round, and then to a swelling over ripe expanse of stretched skin, like a piece of fruit left too long on the vine, or perhaps like a girl in some fairy tale who has witlessly swallowed the waxing moon. This body over which I have exerted so much control-- the one that has carried me through 34 years of life with easy consistency, the one who bounced around as a cheerleader, marched for miles on its toes as a Kiltie, worked on farms, and danced almost a decade of 8 hour shifts-- is now a servant of life, and works for the ever creating universe, rather than just me. I thought I would hate it. I spent a long time fearing it. I do not like to lose control.

    Turns out, I love it. And I don't mean I love it like "isn't it so fun to get extra attention and foot rubs," though that is fun and I can always use more foot rubs. I mean I love it like I love breathing, or the best book, or the exact right food or song or word of comfort, at the exact right moment. The baby at the end of this journey is exciting and surreal to think of, I admit, but currently it is the process itself that I am enthralled with, and the loss of that control, which I had had a death-grip on since childhood, that I am so amazed by. Inconvenience and physical woes aside, I have never felt more in the flow of life, so willing to live (as opposed to just not willing to give up), or so able to sit with whatever is happening, be it discomfort or almost overwhelming joy. I spent 15 years in therapy working on  my anxiety-- needed and worth it, I assure you-- and this new chapter in life is healing and shifting me as much as another 15 years would. A line from an Alanis Morrisette song has been cycling through my head lately which I think sums up the present day nicely: "The moment I let go of it, was the moment I touched down."

    Alright, have I waxed poetic enough? Are we all swimming in too much sugar? Well it had to be said and now it's out of my system, so there. Ready for something more entertaining? Let's share the story of how I told Josh!

    When I found out I was pregnant the first time, it happened over a long weekend where he was away and would return home on no less than Father's Day. So after an agonizing 3 days alone in my house with no phone privileges (I cannot keep my own secrets to save my life so my only course of action was to quarantine myself), I wrapped up his childhood teddy bear, scribbled a note in a Father's Day card, leashed up the dog, and dragged Josh out into the woods. At our favorite spot by the creek, I gave him his gift and sat back to watch his face. Unwrapping the bear which I thought was a dead giveaway, Josh said offhandedly "huh, I used to have a bear just like this," and set it aside. When he read the card (signed "from Jesse, the dog and cats, and your first child who is due in February), I watched his face which bore a look of annoyance. I knew the look well, it's the one that says "why does this girl insist on giving cheesy gifts for EVERY holiday and signing cards from house pets?".  Then he shifted to confusion face-- the one that says "I have forgotten how the English language works and this card makes no sense to me." Upon his third reading, I got the happy face I was waiting for, along with a lot of bouncing and hugging, and a surprising slew of joyful curse words.

 

    This time, I found out I was pregnant while driving home in my car from teaching an art class. I'd been crying like a crazy person for two days, and when I pulled the afore mentioned Alanis Morrisette cd out of my stereo, snapped it in half, and threw it out the window for skipping at a spot where it had been skipping for years, I had a sudden moment of clarity. "You're pregnant," a loud voice in my crazy head informed me! I pulled onto the side of the busy road, snatched the spare pregnancy test from the glove compartment, peed on it and all over my skirt, and saw two pink lines in about two seconds. Phew! No need to pay for more therapy, I'm just exploding with hormones!

    Since apparently all positive pregnancy tests coincide with holidays for me, this day was the Autumn Solstice-- a perfect excuse to drag Josh out into the woods again and smack him with another great surprise! I thought about re-enacting the first time we'd been here, but that seemed a little weird, not to mention lacking in creativity, so I went understated this time, and it was perfect. Under the guise of forcing him to participate in the celebration of yet another holiday that he didn't think warranted a hike, I marched him out to a different wooded hill, handed him some ice cream, and sat us down on a bench to watch the sunset. We talked about the end of summer, the beginning of harvest time, and once we were alone, after the people who I'm pretty sure were engaged in a drug deal walked away, I gave him his package.

    Nothing so overthought this time, it was a small tin holding the positive test, and a small simple note. Josh and I have been in love of late with a band called Medicine for the People, and in particular a song of theirs called Manifesto. The chorus at the end that sticks in your head in the most beautiful way goes "Don't waste your hate, rather gather and create. Be of service, be a sensible person, use your words and don't be nervous. You can do this, you've got purpose. Find your medicine and use it." We'd been singing it under our breath for weeks, so the note over the test simply said "we can do this, we've got purpose."

    Once he got it, which still took a minute, everything changed, and here we are on the path to parenthood. Talk about a hand made life!

Here is yet another attempt to link the song I mentioned for your clicking convenience! If you can't get there from here, go the old fashioned route and look for Medicine for the People Manifesto on www.youtube.com.

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What's Better than True Love? True Love and a Present...

   The phrase Labor of Love has always been one that resonates with me, and reasonably so, given my grandparents-instilled puritan work ethic combined with my natural love of... LOVE! Never has the phrase fit more perfectly into an actual activity than in today's DIY project.

    I have to admit that for all my wedding posts here, I'm not terribly informed about weddings in general. I have had the pleasure of attending many celebrations of birth, marriage, earth cycles, and even death (a celebration of a life lived), in a great range of subcultures, and it is from these that I drew inspiration for my own marriage ceremony. When starting down the path of planning for such a big event, I did, as I have mentioned, some research on good old traditional American weddings, of which I have only limited experience, and one practice I found mention of that really resonated with me was the exchange of private gifts between the bride and groom. Is this a common part of most weddings? If so, what are the usual gifts exchanged between the joining couple? I'd love some answers on this one, I'm really curious!

    For Josh and I, our gift giving was probably pretty predictable. I am a painter... Josh got a painting! Josh is a musician... he wrote me a song! Still, obvious choices aside, being able to devote precious time beforehand working on this extra special home made gift for the man I was joining my life with was a real treat for me-- both as an excited gift-giver, and a happy crafter. 

    I wanted to give Josh something that spoke of our love for each other, our commitment to a long path together as equal partners, and our shared vision of a life both rooted in the tradition of our elders and liberated by our growing faith in both spirit and ourselves to live the life we were meant to live. Oh, and I didn't want to be that self absorbed cheese-ball who presented her partner with a giant painting of he and myself. That would be embarrassing in the long run! So, after careful consideration, I decided to paint him what I had not the time, skills, or patience to sew him. I gave him a life size barn quilt.

    What is a barn quilt, you may ask? Why, it's a giant painting of a life-like quilt, hung out on the sides of barns throughout the midwest for no other reason than to look pretty-- like laundry on the line on a breezy, sunny day. If you're not familiar, I encourage you to do an image search, or if you're in the midwest, take a barn quilt driving tour-- yes, that's a real thing!

        



    And why a barn quilt, you may still be wondering? Because I can never get far from my time with the Amish. Brief though it was (just under a year), it haunts me, and there isn't a day that I am not reminded by some smell or sound of shift of light, of what I left behind. The richness of that experience is still so ever-present, so nearly tactile for me, that it always gives me great pleasure to integrate some of the old culture into my own life. At an Amish wedding, long tables are set with full place settings, baskets of fruit and homemade candies, and cakes you want to dive into. The ech, a corner where the wedding party sits, is the most decorated thing you'll ever see in an Amish house, spilling over with personalized treats for the couple and helpers. There is always singing, there is always silent prayer, there is always the bustle of skirts and hats and laughter and eating, and there is always a quilt. Wedding ring pattern, made at a frolic by those who love the new couple, ready to keep them warm at night. I nearly coveted that quilt, not just to snuggle under but to have as a symbol of all that I love-- my partner, my community, and the value of hand worked art. Without a gaggle of women to stitch with, I painted Josh the double ring pattern, and our "Amish" wedding quilt hangs on the outside wall of our house, facing the backyard where barbeque's and croquet parties abound, appearing to forever sway in the breeze. The fact that it doubled as a great decoration at our wedding where he was surprised by it at the entrance, was the cherry on top!

DIY Wedding Barn Quilt

Step 1: Select your wood from your local hardware store, being sure to choose something light but not (light wood bends easily). I chose a large piece of pine, a quarter inch thick and 4x5 feet. I'd have liked to have gone larger, but this was the storage limit of my Honda CRV, so take that into consideration when you're picking wood for any project! Added to this I bought 5 strips of thin wood to frame my piece, measuring 1x2 inches and about 7 feet in length. It's very important to frame a wood painting this large, or the moisture of the paint WILL bow your finished project, which will make you very sad. I know, since I learned this lesson at my first solo gallery show, watching my paintings curl up on the walls! Be sure to have the hardware store cut the wood to the measurements you need for framing, so that you don't have to deal with that when you go home.

Step 2: At home and ready to work, first frame up your wood. You should have your strips cut so that you can lay 4 pieces out on the back side around the outside edges. Run plenty of wood glue around the edges of your painting, lay the strips out the way they will apply to your piece, then put the large piece of wood, glue side down, on top of the strips. This will form a tiny little table top, with the wood strips on bottom, and big piece on top, glue sandwiched in the middle. Now with appropriately sized nails, drive nails into your large piece of wood all the way around the edges, really cementing the frame to the front. Repeat this step with the extra wood you had cut that will go in the center of the piece, forming either a cross or an X that touches the wood frame on all sides. Glue this wood into place, and nail it down as well. This creates a sold piece that will hang sturdily outside through all weather for years to come!

Step 3: Prep your wood with water proof paint. If you're using acrylic, which I recommend, just skip back to the hardware store and pick up a plain white bucket of weatherproof paint. Coat the entire painting in this, front and back, to make sure your wood won't buckle in the future.

Step 4: Finally! Time for the fun part! Once your weatherproof base coat is dry, you can start sketching and planning your very own barn quilt. Use your trusty computer to search images of quilt patterns (if you're not going with the ring pattern), to find the one that suits you best. The greatest part about this project, other than the time saved in stitching, is that since you're the painter, you can use any fabric color and pattern you want-- the patch design world is your oyster! Use a simple pencil and eraser to sketch out your quilt shape and patch pattern, then use any acrylic paint, even the cheap-y kind in the little squeezy tubes, to create your image.

Step 5: Once you've painted your barn quilt to your liking, and mine took 2 weeks of work so don't expect this to be a quick project, it's time for another layer of weather proofing. There are clear coat outdoor paints made for acrylics that you can use, though they are a little pricey and hard to find, requiring a few phone calls ahead of time, and about $30 for a pint of gloss, which is all you'll need. You can use this covering, which is what I did for this project, or go the much cheaper and easier route of using the more common outdoor clear coat, intended for oil paints. I've used the oil kind for many projects over acrylic, so I don't think it's the travesty that the paint people lead you to believe it is, but you do run the risk of a little yellowing with these, and I suppose it's possible that they don't adhere as well to the acrylic paint, though again, using them hasn't failed me so far. Put several coats of this clear gloss on your painting, alternating between front and back and letting layers fully dry between each one. If this project is a wedding surprise for your partner, you'll want to have borrowed a neighbors garage for a few weeks! And that's it, you're done, and you have a present that is brimming with love and loveliness, that will wow your guests, not to mention your groom!

DIY Songwriting for Your Wedding Day

    I have to say I'm a little jealous that Josh got such an easy job compaired to mine, but I guess when I consider that he has to play his music all night in smokey bars while I stay and home and make pretty things, it turns out it all comes out in the wash-- a metaphore for life, I'm sure! The song Josh wrote for me (and only sang privately at our wedding) was the first one he'd ever written on his own, and it turned out to be a big hit for his band, and to be the first of many he wrote after that-- turns out after the first try that songwriting is his thing! These are his song writing instructions for those of you inclined toward melody...

Step 1: Go to the woods with paper and pencil, and bring a guitar if you're feeling extra inspired.

Step 2: Jot down some themes for your song, phrases or words that come to mind, and what you'd like your song to say. Now soak up the scenery and let these ideas roll around in your head for a while.

Step 3: Think about how pretty and fun your partner is (this one is an editor's note, but surely that was part of the process :)...)...

Step 4: Write down what you want to say, then shift the words around to form rhymes and lyrical flow. By now some small tune should be bouncing around the in the back of your mind, so bring it into the forground, set it to the lyrics, and voila! Love song accomplished!

I have posted a link to the song Josh wrote me here, but since I really don't trust my own tech-y ability, you can also see and hear it for yourself by going to www.youtube.com, and searching for Bhuddas Groove Shoes, Ready to Grow. Enjoy!

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